Checkmate Office Politics by Dalal Bhavna;

Author:Dalal, Bhavna; [Dalal, Bhavna]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: SAGE Publications India Pvt, Ltd.
Published: 2020-08-06T00:00:00+00:00

The Fear of Losing Control

When unwanted behaviours are unravelling in my coaching conversations with clients, one of the most prevalent fears that surfaces is that of losing control. No one likes to feel out of control. It is not a good feeling. We all feel it sometimes; however, some people have an extreme need for control. Such folks become so good at what they do that it gives them an illusion of control.

It can also be called a fear of uncertainty—the demand for certainty in a world that is getting more and more volatile, uncertain and ambiguous. It is precisely this unrealistic need that gives rise to anxiety. You have an urgent need to predict and manage the future accurately, not just have some probabilistic and uncertain handle on it. You could call such people perfectionists. They demand certainty or finality, and when they don’t get it, they worry and stress over it.

Success in the corporate environment has come to those that were overachievers and planners. Somewhere along the path, when you have gotten ahead on these strengths, overuse of them leads you to think you can control all outcomes.

The answer to taming this fear is letting go of your demand for certainty, namely giving up your unrealistic perfectionism about the future no matter how hard you have worked to create the desired future. It can seem like a formidable task but letting go of this demand is the key to letting go of your fear. If you don’t try to control the outcome, if you don’t attempt certainty in what is by its nature uncertain, if you do not expect to solve this dichotomy, then you are free to relax.

I believe overcoming this fear can inculcate a sense of humility, or vice versa. Consciously practicing humility can also help alleviate this fear. Focus on things much bigger and more significant than you. Go into nature and notice the magnanimity there, which no human can create.

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